1st Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Accept that neither of you are exactly the same person that you were when you got married. Life experiences and events change our perceptions and views on our life. Avoid attempting to recapture a marriage using the same ineffective methods over and over. Marriages can be much like a failing business, and much like a failing business it has to be restructured to meet each other’s needs daily.
2nd Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Get to know each other again. In the busyness of life, spouses forget to focus on each other. Jobs, professional commitments, community activities and other obligations pull couples apart. To counter the tug-of-war, just as you schedule meetings for these responsibilities, make appointments to be together, just the two of you, and re-connect.
3rd Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Look in a mirror. Would you marry you? When a relationship hits the skids, natural inclination is to blame the other person. Instead, take a good, hard look at yourself. Do you still make an effort to look attractive (not to be confused with being skinny)? Are you proud of who you are? Do you have a healthy sense of self-worth? If you can’t answer “yes” to these questions, there’s work to be done.
4th Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Peel back arguments to identify their roots and modify how you handle your differences. When a dispute is stripped down to its core, it’s often discovered that the squabble was precipitated due to one spouse possessing a “strength” where the other has a “weakness.” The person with the strength has more knowledge, information, experience, skill/talent or education than his/her mate on the subject of the disagreement. A strength pit against a weakness turns into a fight. Rather than function in opposition, re-program yourselves to “blend” your differences.
5th Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Don’t stick to the same old patterns, routines and habits. Predictability causes monotony. Sit down together and list the boring “stuff.” Then brainstorm new ways to do those things, creating a new list to spice up the relationship.
6th Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Create a “couple” tradition. “Family” traditions are commonplace, but what about traditions solely for both of you? Traditions can add excitement to a relationship, serve as an anchor, and provide “glue” for the union to remain sturdy when the going gets rough. Establish one or more traditions to make your relationship special year after year.
7th Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Love the one your with. Observations at the office, gym, social outings and elsewhere may lead you to believe that others are having all the fun. Don’t be fooled. How many times have you seen the couple who seemed to “have it all” wind up in divorce court? Rather than wallow, devote mental energy to rekindling the romance between you and your mate.
8th Way to Have a Happy Marriage:. To improve communication, eat marshmallows. Imagine that you have mouthful of marshmallows. Now, think about it: What is the one thing you absolutely cannot do? Answer: Talk. That’s precisely the point. Communication is more about listening than talking.
Also, never, ever, miss a good chance to shut up. Every comment doesn’t need a retort. Every issue doesn’t need another opinion. Speak up when it’s important, and keep your lips zipped when it isn’t. What you don’t say is often as important as what you do say.
9th Way to Have a Happy Marriage: Concentrate on the things you can change and don’t try to fix things you can’t. Display greater patience and tolerance for the things that your spouse does that bother you. Most quirks and annoying habits are negligible in the scheme of the entire relationship.
10th Way to Have a Happy Marriage: If you seek professional help, do so with a positive attitude. For marriage counseling to have a chance of success, a couple must start with the proper outlook. Think “How can we revitalize our marriage?” not “Should we get a divorce?”
When you find the most effective ways to improve your relationship you will experience a renewed source of joy and pleasure and the new love that you feel for each other will carry you both to new heights of happiness, wealth and pleasure. While learning how to have a happy marriage, you and your spouse are likely to discover new and incredible strengths within you both and in your relationship. With determination, staying power and patience, the are high that you will come out of the journey amazed and exposed a new world of opportunities with your marriage intact and even better than ever.