Why do many marriages fail? There are reports that fifty percent of all marriages end in painful separation or divorce. Marriage is the union of two individuals who have different upbringing and individuality. Although the matrimony of marriage makes two individuals as one, couples still have their differences and go through series of trials. Keeping your marriage strong through the years needs a great deal of dedication and work.

Married couples of today have more challenges to face from building a career, meeting the demands of their jobs, facing financial responsibilities and parenting or raising kids. If you are one of those couples who are struggling in keeping your marriage strong through the years, the following tips can be very helpful.

Stay affectionate and intimate with each other. Affection is important in any relationship because it keeps couples stay connected with each other. Simple gestures of affection may seem a small thing but they can make a big impact in keeping your marriage strong through the years. Simple gestures of love and affection like hugs, kisses, cuddling, holding hands and rubbing the back or massaging the shoulder of your spouse should not be forgotten or should always be present in your relationship. A simple hug can make your spouse feel good especially when he or she is going through something. Intimacy is an essential part of marriage and to strengthen your relationship, you should always find time to be intimate to connect physically, mentally and emotionally with each other.

Keep the communication lines open. Good communication plays an important role in keeping your marriage strong through the years. The communication lines should be always open and both should be capable of making a good communication. Good communication is a great pathway to get into the thoughts and heart of our loved ones and if this pathway is not kept open, couples may find it difficult to get into their spouses heart and mind. In your marriage, things like misunderstandings, moments of doubts and numerous trials could happen and if you and your spouse cannot talk about the issues in your marriage, your relationship may fail to withstand those trials. Good communication does not only include talking or expressing your thoughts and feelings but it also include listening and comprehending the thoughts and feelings of your spouse. When couples can communicate effectively they can solve problems in their marriage peacefully.

Grow together as a couple. Keeping your marriage strong through the years include growing together. By growing together as a couple, the marriage becomes more exciting through the years. It is healthy for couples to have a common activity or hobby that they can enjoy and do together. Doing community work together can be a great bonding and at the same time you both can help other people. Sharing each other’s passion and interest strengthens your friendship and your marriage. Building good memories through the years doing things you both love can make your marriage last.

Grow individually. We all need our own personal space. We all need to nurture our individuality to grow as a person and to know ourselves better. How can you understand your spouse and contribute in your relationship when you cannot even understand and take care of yourself? Take time for yourself to contribute more in your relationship. You also need to spend time with your friends doing the things you love to do. Of course you have to be mindful not to violate the matrimony of marriage you vowed when you are spending time away from your spouse.

Trust each other. When two people decided to get married, it also means they trust each other enough to agree to be as one and live with each other for the rest of their lives. Trust is very important in a marriage and couples should continue to trust each other. Keeping your marriage strong through the years is not that hard if the trust blessed by the matrimony of marriage will not be betrayed.

If your marriage is going through rough times and you are wondering if your marriage will last, do not hesitate to ask help.

Long-term relationships take work, like any other aspect of life. The work can be fun (like teasing to lighten a mood, or date-nights to reconnect), and it can be risky (like facing a fear or confronting a problem). But like career or health efforts, relationship efforts are immensely rewarding.

Just what does it take to thrive? Based on my own relationship and those around me, I have some ideas. This list isn’t inclusive. You may have other ideas that the rest of us can learn from, but here is a start.

1. Talk

Don’t keep it to yourself or assume your partner knows what’s troubling you. If you are bothered about something IN the relationship, focus on your feelings and what you want to see happen, not on what they are doing wrong. If the problem is outside the relationship, trust your partner to help you through your distress.

2. Create Loving Rituals

Kiss hello and goodbye each morning and evening. Make your spouse your priority for 30 seconds when you get home from work. Do you have children begging for your attention? If they are older than two they will absorb and learn from the love passing between their parents for that half-minute before they get your exclusive attention.

3. See a Counselor

Are there bigger issues in the relationship or do you have some unresolved issues from the past that affects your current relationships? See someone who can help you objectively sort through them all. If you feel yourself hesitating, remember that there is a big section in each bookstore devoted to “self-help.” You are not alone in looking for solutions to your issues.

4. Date Nights

Make a date with your partner. You may see them every day, but if “seeing them” counts as chatting while opening mail, cleaning the dishes or putting kids to bed, you need to find time to talk without distraction. Go out regularly. Make a weekly or monthly commitment and add it to your calendar.

You don’t get in shape by reading about it. Making a commitment to exercise is what keeps your body healthy. Likewise, your relationships are healthier when you devote time to them.

5. Visible Reminders

Married? Hang your framed wedding photo. Do you remember your vows? Frame them too. Not married? Find wall art that resonates with you. I recently found one that says, “’I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am with you.’ Elizabeth Barrett Browning.” Or find one that simply says, “love.” Like a sticky note, these help to remind you of your priorities in your relationship.

I feel very fortunate most of the time. Though both my husband and I can get caught up in career, raising our children or even in our own life frustrations, we are both committed to each other, and to making our marriage work and thrive. When it comes to the big picture of our life, we both want the same things.

Little frustrations can always be worked out if they are brought into the open. Sometimes it makes sense to ignore the minor things, like socks on the floor or toothpaste in the sink, but the health of a relationship is not minor. It needs as much focus as your physical health.

What excited you about your partner when you first met them? Do you still celebrate or acknowledge that part of them?

Everyone has an opinion on how to make a marriage work, but there are only a few surefire strategies that will truly make an impact. To help you make the most of your marriage and continue to improve and strengthen your relationship, we’ve put together four of the most important marriage tips. With these simple but effective relationship tips you should have no trouble making good on that whole “Till death do us part” thing.

Mutual respect

As unromantic as it sounds, having mutual respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. This means never taking each other for granted or simply expecting certain things of each other without asking or having a discussion around roles. For example, how would you feel if your husband automatically expected you to know where his clean shirts were or assumed that all of the household chores were your domain and your domain only? A good relationship relies on teamwork and sharing responsibilities equally – not leaving one person in charge of everything. Having mutual respect means appreciating each other and showing that appreciation by saying thank you when your partner does something nice for you.

Acceptance

There are no two ways about it; you must accept the man you have married. There is slim to no chance that once you have him settled into a home with a garden and white picket fence that he will transform magically into the prince you’ve always wanted. A frog is a frog no matter how you dress him up, so if you want your marriage to work, acceptance is key. If you married him, you need to love him for who he is now – not who you hope he will become. Marry for love and nothing more or you run the risk of disappointment down the road, not to mention unnecessary arguments and potential heartache.

Common courtesy

It may seem overly simplistic but remembering to extend small common courtesies to your spouse such as saying please and thank you, calling or texting when you’re going to be late, offering to make dinner when the other person is super-stressed, etc. will go a long way in making your marriage work. No one likes to feel under-appreciated (or worse, not appreciated at all), so if you both make a point to show appreciation towards each other, it will be much easier to keep your relationship healthy and minimize potential resentment. Resentment often starts when one person feels they pull more weight than the other or that what they do goes unnoticed. Be nicer to each other to avoid this trap.

Compromise

This is probably the most important healthy marriage must-do on our list and something that should be taken very seriously. We all want to be right (it just feels good sometimes), but always needing to have the last word and turn every argument into a full-blown fight can really wear on the relationship. Compromise means coming to a mutually agreeable solution – something you can both live with. You may still think you’re right and he’s wrong, but it can often be better to try and merge your ideas until you hit on something that satisfies both of you, rather than one of you feeling slighted or angry.

How to Save Your Marriage

If you or your spouse fall into negative patterns in the way you relate to one another, you are not just in a rut, you are hurting one another and your marriage.

You can’t compromise or negotiate these behaviors away. You can’t rationalize the behaviors as this is “just the way I am.”

In order to save your marriage, these harmful behaviors must stop.

Emotionally and/or Physically Abusing Your Spouse

This should be a no-brainer, but you may think your control over your spouse’s daily life or your negative responses to your spouse are okay. It isn’t. The day will come when your spouse will say “enough is enough” and your marriage will be over. If you are abusive in any way towards your spouse and children, seek counseling right away.

Breaking Your Promises and Being an Undependable Spouse

Who wants to live with someone who can’t be depended on? The more promises you break, the more you say you will do something and then don’t, the more you are late or not where you say you will be, the more your spouse will lose trust in you.

Being Jealous

One of the sure ways to drive your spouse away and to destroy your marriage is to show irrational jealousy or to spy on your spouse. If you can’t admit to your jealous behavior or change your behavior, seek counseling.

Inability or Not Wanting to Forgive

Resentment over past hurts or betrayals will slowly eat away at your spouse’s love for you and doom your marriage. Not forgiving your spouse also harms your own health. Forgiving doesn’t mean you forget or that you condone hurtful behavior. Don’t let your stubbornness or wanting to get revenge cause the end of your marriage.

Putting Romance on the Back Burner

Although your lifestyle situation changes throughout the years, your need for love and affection does not lessen. Talk about your expectations about affection, sex, and romance. Telling yourself that “someday” you will have the time to be romantic will hurt your marriage.

Continuing to Have Unrealistic Expectations

Disillusionment will grow as your expectations continue to be unfulfilled. Once you identify which expectations are based on marriage myths and are unrealistic, talk with one another about having achievable expectations.

Refusing to Listen to or Communicate With Your Spouse

Shutting your spouse out of your life by refusing to talk or to listen is a definite death knell for your marriage. It is so important for you both to share your thoughts and feelings with one another.

Being Unkind or Uncaring Towards Your Spouse

When a lack of caring and kindness or when selfishness creeps into your marriage, the slippery slope to divorce begins. Is it really all that difficult to say “please” or “thank you” to your spouse? Just because the two of you are married doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be courteous to one another.

When your marriage is in trouble, it can be a confusing and depressing time. You can feel vulnerable, hurt and even victimized by life. You may feel helpless and try ineffectively to reach out for support, or even worse deny that there is any trouble at all. But don’t worry, all these reactions are quite common. Here are some tips that will give you the perspective you need to stop your marital troubles in their tracks and take action now, today, before it is too late. This is how to save your marriage.

1. Take time to write down the situation on paper.

- Don’t judge your thoughts, just write whatever you feel. This will help clarify what is going on, so that any judgement you make will not come from a confused, emotional place.

2. Take some time to get some perspective

- whether that means taking a long walk, going on a short trip, or going to see a close friend, getting away from the relationship for a short amount of time can let both of you reflect on what’s going on, so that you don’t make any rash decisions you’ll forget.

3. See a marriage counselor

- book an appointment if the situation feels too out of your control. A marriage counselor will provide neutral feedback on your relationship and won’t judge you. A good listener will help you figure out what to do more often than constant advice from people. If you and your partner can commit to seeing a marriage counselor together, you have a better chance of staying together as the message you give is clear- although times are rough, you both value the relationship enough to work through it.

4. Learn to forgive

People are far from perfect. Life is short, and holding grudges about the past is pointless. If your partner has wronged you let him or her know, but never make your partner feel bad about it afterwards. This will bring up negative emotions that serve no purpose. If you have wronged your partner, apologize and mean it.

5. Invest in marriage

Devote time to your partner. Planning exciting, new things to do together will strengthen the relationship and promote healthy growth for your feelings for each other. There’s nothing wrong with cliche- dancing lessons etc., but try to make the experience a shared learning experience.

6. Ruthlessly sort out your finances

Financial issues can be a major strain on your marriage. Grow up and draw a plan for your budget. Be ruthless. Money troubles do not go away, so your hard work will be rewarded. Do not be too proud to ask for advice.

7. Show your appreciation for your partner

Every one likes to know they are appreciated. It’s the little things that count. Saying ‘thank you’, complimenting your partner. Think of the qualities your partner has that you genuinely value and when your partner shows one of these (hopefully many…) qualities, make him or her feel good about it.

8. Don’t overburden your partner with insecurity

Showing your partner appreciation should not be confused with overburdening your partner with neediness. It is a delicate balance. You can be vulnerable to your partner, but in a healthy relationship, both of you should not be completely dependent on the other. Showing constant insecurity is the best way to drive your partner away. It leads to resentment. If you catch yourself doing it, make an effort to stop it. Addressing your insecurities by writing down your issues to clarify them can be a productive process.

9. Don’t try to change you partner

You can’t. You both can compromise and alter your behavior out of consideration for your partner, but you can’t change who your partner is.

10. Don’t forget to laugh at yourself

Taking yourself too seriously is the best way to shoot yourself in the marital foot. The sense of lightness and fun in marriage is the first thing to go when times get tough. But don’t forget the power of good humor. Emotions are contagious, so laugh it up!

Are you young and newly married? Or, have you been married for a few years?

Regardless, the attention you give to the foundation of your marriage is important. In fact, it is critical. How you build your married life together right now will impact you for many years to come.

Unfortunately, many couples begin their marriages by paying little attention to what makes their foundation strong. As a result, they miss opportunities to build a solid foundation.

The following five suggestions can help you begin to build a great foundation. If you have been married for a while, these might be reminders of what will help keep your foundation strong.

1. Pay attention to one another now. Yes, a husband and wife may be in the same room. However, they may actually pay little attention to one another. Instead, night after night the television blares while they each focus on their phones. Far too many couples communicate with others (texts, Facebook messages, tweets) but spend little energy connecting with each another.

2. Set up protective boundaries now. Talk with one another about appropriate boundaries with persons of the opposite sex. Talk about appropriate boundaries for conflict. (For example, a couple should not use demeaning language or dredge up old wounds.) Couples need to talk about boundaries with their families of origin and how they will relate to them.

3. Commit yourselves to an encouraging Christian community now. Far too many Christian couples are only nominally connected to a church during their first few years of marriage. Listen, the time to connect with a church is immediately. Find a Christian community that will support and encourage your marriage. Find a church where there are not only others your age who are married but older believers who have invested their lives building good marriages.

4. Take the initiative to build your friendship now. Unfortunately, the expectations for marriage are often so high and unrealistic that couples remain continually frustrated and disappointed. Far better to simply focus on building a loyal, life-giving friendship with your spouse. Focusing on your friendship can heighten the joy you experience in your marriage. (By the way, it will also bless your sexual relationship with one another.)

5. Talk through your frustrations with one another now. Do not let the frustration build up inside you. Do not assume that it will just work itself out. Talk through your frustrations. Be the first to admit wrong. Make the first move to change your own behavior. Step up.

Marriage is a tough job. Newlyweds have to build a strong foundation to help improve their chances of staying together and overcoming the challenges that most couples face. That’s easier said than done. Most people don’t know where to start. But this step-by-step guide should put you on the right path, so you can create a solid base for an enduring marriage -

Step 1 – See a Marriage Counselor

People think that couples only go to counseling because they are having problems. But counseling can help you prevent problems and learn to express yourselves and understand each other better from the get go. You don’t have to wait for issues to pile on to see a counselor.

Step 2 – Get marriage advice.

Many couples look to other couples they know (perhaps their parents or grandparents) as role models. When you get married, lots of people offer advice. Some will ring true for you, and some won’t. Pick and choose what works for you. Whatever you do, however, listen to the advice and give it a chance. You never know what someone else could teach you.

Step 3 – Improve communication.

Talking to each other about everything – from finances to where you should live – is a necessity in a marriage. But learning how to talk to each other without arguing or being insensitive is an art that takes practice, patience, and even training.

Step 4 – Anticipate the big issues.

Certain topics come up over and over again. Many couples fight over money, sex, household chores, and the in-laws. If the two of you anticipate these issues and discuss them before they snowball into bigger problems, you can keep emotional battles at bay.

Step 5 – Fight Fairly

Arguments will happen. They’re unavoidable. But you can make the most of an argument – and learn about one another and your individual stances on particular issues – if you argue fairly. On the most basic level, fighting fairly simply means to respect one another despite your differences.

Step 6 – Keep sex exciting.

A marriage without sex is no marriage at all. Maintaining romance and attraction for one another requires effort. Don’t be intimidated by it. After all, love, affection, and sex should be lots of fun.

Step 7 – Love each other.

From romantic gestures to love letters, you must demonstrate to your partner that he or she is your top priority. Putting him or her first and being affectionate are all ways that show you care.

Step 8 – Build trust.

As you go through the other steps, you will notice that you and your partner feel more secure in the relationship. Your goal should be to continue to make these bonds ever stronger. Ultimately, your job as a newlywed is to build trust, to prove yourselves to one another. You are working toward making a life-long connection and creating a family together.

Treat your in-laws with respect, give your spouse breathing space and keep the spark alive to build a rock-solid relationship

Nowadays, the term ‘long-lasting marriage’ is an oxymoron. With divorce rates rising, separation has become the easiest solution to tackle any rocky relationship! No wonder, fewer couples are giving their marriage a deserving second chance.

Like any other relationship, even a marriage needs help, every now and then, especially when things get difficult. True, it may be challenging and require more effort on your part but the rewards are worth the extra work. So instead of ignoring and brushing your marital woes under the carpet, make your marriage a happy and long-lasting affair.

The Big C — Communication

If communication is missing in your marriage, before you even realize it, it will slowly destroy your relationship. Everyone talks about honesty in a marriage but that’s only possible if communication lines are open. So even if you’re busy with your work, children, gym, household chores or social activities, just set aside 15 minutes in the day, especially for your spouse. Use this precious time to sit and talk about things — not just about work and family but even anything random.

Dignity and respect

“Love is overrated — it’s respecting your spouse and giving him dignity that will strengthen your bond and help your  relationship in the long run,” says Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist. You may be married to him and he may be an integral part of your life, but that doesn’t mean you own him. It’s important you don’t dominate or boss him around, alone or in front of family and friends. Learn to respect his feelings and decisions, even if you don’t agree.

It’s okay to compromise

Maybe it’s the way we’ve been conditioned, but a lot of people feel that compromise is a sign of weakness and so, are often unwilling to compromise. But considering the vast number of decisions every couple has to make during the course of their lives, you’ll often come across situations, where you will have to find middle ground. That doesn’t mean you always have to give up on what you believe or think is right. Make it more about reaching a consensus or solution that both of you will be happy with.

Transparency about finances

Every individual is entitled to financial stability, so it’s completely fine if you have a separate bank account, where you save up money. But it’s equally important that your spouse is aware of your finances too. Whether it’s investing in a new policy or loaning money to a friend or family member, it’s best to keep your husband in the loop. You don’t want this indiscretion to upset him, make him lose his trust on you or unnecessarily create a rift in the relationship.

Bonding with your in-laws

Well, this one is easier said than done, particularly if you aren’t too fond of your spouse’s extended family or vice versa! Still, what matters is that you at least make an attempt to be cordial to them, or engage in polite conversation, whenever you meet. You could also initiate get-togethers or dinners once in a while. After all, if there’s a strain in your relationship with your better half, your in-laws could be a great source of support for both of you.

Think bachelors have it made? It turns out married men are actually happier after marriage than they would be if they stayed single, according to researchers at Michigan State University.

The study looked at 1,366 people who weren’t married before participating in the survey, got married at some point during, and stayed married. Researchers compared the subjects to a control group who was demographically alike in every way other than being married.

The results: “People, on average, aren’t happier following marriage than they were before marriage, but they are happier than they would have been if they stayed single,” says Stevie C. Y. Yap, a doctoral candidate in the Department of Psychology at MSU and one of the study authors.

“Just being in a well-adjusted, long-term romantic partnership with someone may be the underlying mechanism,” says Yap. “It may not have to do with the marriage itself, the fact that you step up to the altar and say, ‘I do.’”

Happiness in a marriage might not always seem as exciting as when you first meet your wife, says Marsha Lucas, Ph.D., a psychologist in Washington, D.C. That’s because, as research proves, many people have a baseline level of happiness they tend to return to after a positive life event.

“During early romance, we’re getting all kinds of great, pleasurable experiences that are giving us a bit of a hit of dopamine, stimulating the brain areas involved with reward—even euphoria—as well as the motivation to seek out and return over and over to that same source to get some more,” she says. “After you’re married and the thrill has settled, those big, constant hits of dopamine taper off, and like coming down from a high, it can feel like a huge letdown.”

Lucas says that getting on the same page about your expectations for a marriage has a lot to do with identifying both you and your spouse’s attachment styles, and then working together to counter the other. (An “attachment style” is psych talk for the accumulation of childhood experiences, especially involving your parents, that control how you deal with relationships later in life). Just over half of Americans fall into the “healthy” secure attachment category. But 45 percent have an insecure style of attachment. That results in anxious feelings about seeking comfort, or a desire to minimize or avoid relationships altogether.

1. Love/Commitment. At its core, love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more than a fleeting emotion as portrayed on television, the big screen, and romance novels. Feelings come and go, but a true decision to be committed lasts forever – and that is what defines true love. It is a decision to be committed through the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. When things are going well, commitment is easy. But true love is displayed by remaining committed even through the trials of life.

2. Sexual Faithfulness. Sexual faithfulness in marriage includes more than just our bodies. It also includes our eyes, mind, heart, and soul. When we devote our minds to sexual fantasies about another person, we sacrifice sexual faithfulness to our spouse. When we offer moments of emotional intimacies to another, we sacrifice sexual faithfulness to our spouse. Guard your sexuality daily and devote it entirely to your spouse. Sexual faithfulness requires self-discipline and an awareness of the consequences. Refuse to put anything in front of your eyes, body, or heart that would compromise your faithfulness.

3. Humility. We all have weaknesses and relationships always reveal these faults quicker than anything else on earth. An essential building block of a healthy marriage is the ability to admit that you are not perfect, that you will make mistakes, and that you will need forgiveness. Holding an attitude of superiority over your partner will bring about resentment and will prevent your relationship from moving forward. If you struggle in this area, grab a pencil and quickly write down three things that your partner does better than you – that simple exercise should help you stay humble. Repeat as often as necessary.

4. Patience/Forgiveness. Because no one is perfect (see #3), patience and forgiveness will always be required in a marriage relationship. Successful marriage partners learn to show unending patience and forgiveness to their partner. They humbly admit their own faults and do not expect perfection from their partner. They do not bring up past errors in an effort to hold their partner hostage. And they do not seek to make amends or get revenge when mistakes occur. If you are holding onto a past hurt from your partner, forgive him or her. It will set your heart and relationship free.

5. Time. Relationships don’t work without time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together. And quality time rarely happens when quantity time is absent. The relationship with your spouse should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in awhile wouldn’t hurt either.

6. Honesty and Trust. Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything healthy in a marriage. But unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but trust always takes time. Trust is only built after weeks, months, and years of being who you say you are and doing what you say you’ll do. It takes time, so start now… and if you need to rebuild trust in your relationship, you’ll need to work even harder.

7. Communication. Successful marriage partners communicate as much as possible. They certainly discuss kids’ schedules, grocery lists, and utility bills. But they don’t stop there. They also communicate hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. They don’t just discuss the changes that are taking place in the kid’s life, they also discuss the changes that are taking place in their own hearts and souls. This essential key cannot be overlooked because honest, forthright communication becomes the foundation for so many other things on this list: commitment, patience, and trust… just to name a few.

8. Selflessness. Although it will never show up on any survey, more marriages are broken up by selfishness than any other reason. Surveys blame it on finances, lack of commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility, but the root cause for most of these reasons is selfishness. A selfish person is committed only to himself or herself, shows little patience, and never learns how to be a successful spouse. Give your hopes, dreams, and life to your partner. And begin to live life together.