Finding Ways to Help Save Your Marriage

by bright on July 9, 2011

Problems in life are inevitable, and problems inside a marriage can be one of the most serious relationship issues you ever have to deal with. If you are married and experiencing difficulties with your relationship, then this read is for you. This article will talk about tips and ways to rescue your marriage. It can be a tall order for most couples to try to save their marriage, but it is not so hard when you have the right support systems to help you.

  • 1.       Self-help books.  The first thing that you might look for when confronted with marital problems is a self- help book. There are a number of books that are helpful when used appropriately. Some books talk about communication with your spouse, while others try to help you by looking at each side of the problem.
  • 2.       Marriage counsellors.  Aside from books, there are also marriage counsellors available to help you deal with your marital problems. They may cost more than a book but they are more reliable and can give you advice about your particular situation.  A personal touch that a book just can’t do, no matter how good it is.
  • 3.       Marriage help forums.  Another good source of advice can be taken from marriage help forums found on the internet. Here, you can discuss with other spouses issues that are related to your problems while being anonymous. The downside is that you will need to weed out the unhelpful comments.

Books, counsellors, and forums are all useful techniques that can help save a marriage, but despite all these suggestions and techniques, it always boils down to how you deal with the problem, or whether or not you’re willing to even deal with the problem in the first place.

Aside from self-help materials, another way to help save your marriage is by remembering the vows you made. Your vows were promises that you made to either before friends, family, and God. Sometimes couples should remember why they married each other in the first place. The vows that were made on the day of their marriage were true and unblemished and heartfelt. Couples should go back in time and think of all the special moments they had together.  Placing anger upon your spouse will only lead to more anger, hurt, misunderstanding and possibly even resentment and hate.

Rekindling love is sometimes awkward because of the many things that have happened along the way. The love that we experience during the beginning of a relationship is often strong and overwhelming and seems to perfect and wonderful and awesome and new. Over time, we often lose touch with some of this and the little quirks of our partners we once thought were so cute, suddenly become annoying and irritating.

The thrilling newness wears off and we sometimes equate this with a loss of love and excitement in the marriage but the truth is that thrilling rush of seeing each other again after being apart all day is something that is truly only experienced in the very beginning of relationships when people are still discovering about each other and everything is new and seemingly wonderful.  At the inception of relationships we often go about seeing everything with ‘rose-tinted’ glasses, only choosing to see the good and wonderful about our new partners instead of the other plain and perhaps more boring parts of their character that also make up who they are.  Over time misunderstandings, insults, neglect, difficulties and other things may cause the love we once felt for our partners to falter.  It is at these times that some try to find other partners in the hopes of experiencing the thrill of new and exciting love again, but sadly most will only fall victim to the cycle of hurt and pain.

The bottom line is this:  At one time, you and your spouse had the most exciting, thrilling, awesome and loving relationship that anyone could have. You were each other’s sun and moon, rock and hard place, life and support, best friend and lover.  Without each other you are nothing, and if it wasn’t for your spouse, you would not be the person you are today. Don’t allow your cognitive mind to dwell on past mistakes and offenses. Replace those feelings with hope and optimism to help save your marriage, and by doing so, you will eventually find it easier to accept your shortcomings as a couple. It is time to face the problems of your marriage head on and bring back the love you once had for each other.

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