Marriage Counseling: Where to Start and How to Act

by bright on February 25, 2012

When a couple decides to get married, they see so much hope for a bright and loving future.  Everything is happy and thrilling and wonderful and amazing.  Sadly, not all relationships are destined for a happily-ever-after.  Today, more than half of all marriages end in divorce.  But, if you are willing to work at it, there are a number of ways to not only try to avoid the breakup of your marriage, but strengthen it.  One solution that most married couple try when attempting to save their relationship is to go through marriage counseling.

So what is marriage counseling?  During marriage counseling, a counselor or therapist works with a couple to try to work out and resolve any issues affecting their marriage.  These professional counselors and therapists work hard to flush out the underlying cause of the couple’s problem and help them find a workable solution.

So what sort of questions do marriage counselors ask?

The task of the marriage counselor is to ask questions of the couple and listen to each side’s point of view.  The goal is to facilitate an open and honest discussion in an environment that feels safe for both sides.  These questions should reflect various aspects of the couple’s married life and touch on issues past, present and future.  Since the past always plays such a large role in the basis of a marriage, the counselor will often spend a good deal of time learning and talking about past events and situations.  The past actions of one person may reflect what sort of decisions they might make in the future.

During counseling, the couple is encouraged to talk about their relationship status.  Each side must do this since both parties may not perceive the relationship the same way.  How one person views the status of their relationship may not be the same as how the other sees it.

Another common question during marriage counseling revolves around any children in the marriage.  How should the parents handle the situation with their kids?  Discussing the welfare of the children is a top priority especially if they have not yet reached the age of majority to decide for themselves.

Other questions that might be discussed would be regarding marital goals. It is very important for the counselor to ask the couple what they wanted from their counseling session. What result would they like to see?  At this point, the counselor often looks for a goal that the couple can accomplish together in order that their marriage or relationship might work. It is important to have a goal in marriage counseling so the counselor knows what direction to take.  If you have clearly defined goals the success rate of counseling is greatly increased.

Marriage counseling can be a great help to the couple whose marriage is on the brink of separation.  By talking with a qualified counselor, a couple can hopefully work through their marital issues and come through on the other side a stronger, happier couple.

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